Monday

I'm not a Monday hater but today is inching me every bit closer to being one. Here is my day: (and it's not even over so help me now)
Disclaimer: This post is riddled with curse words that I usually only think in my head but don't actually type. Today has been so great I've thrown a few in.

1. The oldest child will.not get out of bed. I allow natural consequences to teach him a lesson and he leaves for school without breakfast. 25% of me feels bad because I know he will be hungry but the other 75% hopes it leads to more mornings that he is not laying in bed for 45 minutes when he should be up. Puberty is chomping at the bit so I'm sure it will not only continue but get a hell of a lot worse.
2. Get all the paperwork ready to pick up the adoption documents at the secretary of state's office and send them off to the consulate in Chicago. This wasn't too hard since I've done two other packets.
3. On my way downtown I stop and have lunch with J; that was nice. (which is good because the day goes to complete crap shortly thereafter)
4. I reach for the GPS to find my way downtown without driving myself into a neighborhood where I really should not be. The GPS isn't there so I call J to catch him before leaving the parking lot so I could get it from his car; he does not have it.
5. After some discussion we come to the conclusion that the GPS was stolen from the van last night. The ONE night we left the van unlocked and the ONE time we left the GPS mount suctioned to the windshield just happens to the one night that some craptastic criminal is looking to make a buck. The craptastic criminal was very polite though; they left my black pouch in the middle console where they found it, zipped shut no less!
6. I get lost on my way downtown due to the craptastic criminal stealing my GPS and end up next to a vehicle whose passenger is physically demonstrating how he beat in someone's face to the driver. Upon the next stop light I quickly did a U turn in the middle of the road; I can't tell you how much I love the tight turning radius on my Sienna. I love it so much I may just buy another one when the time comes; it probably just saved my life today.
7. My wonderful husband became my personal GPS and directed me over the phone. Once reaching downtown I had to call twice more because I was driving in circles among the one way roads...Lost AGAIN due to the craptastic criminal.
8. I parked...Parallel parked! Hallelujah, something is going right.
9. My documents were ready and they were ALL there. This is good because the secretary of state is really not someone you should lose your temper with.
10. Upon leaving I see a Kinko's and stop there to make some copies so I don't have to come all the way home to make the copies and then leave again to drop off the FedEx envelope. I quickly learned how to run the Kinko's copy machine and wow, that works much better than my scanner/printer/copier at home! I need a money order to pay the Chinese Consulate fees; they don't issue money orders but the convenience store two doors down does.
11. The convenience store will only accept cash for the money order payment; every other store has accepted debit. I don't have $225 cash on me and I don't have a GPS to pawn so I hit the ATM. At this point I'm starting to get a bit flustered but I am remaining calm. I step over to the ATM to withdraw the $225 and the ATM says; "screw you, I don't have $225 either. The most you can get from me is $200."
12. So I leave and head for the van but then I see a bank and a cashier's check is accepted at the consulate. I don't have an account at the bank but I thought I'd try anyway. I pull every card that I have in my purse...bat the eyelashes, talk real nice, it's for an adoption, we don't have a local bank, yada, yada, yada. No Go.
13. So I give up and leave downtown but not before getting lost TWO more times because my friggin GPS is gone.
14. Two hours later I finally made it back towards my house and go to Wal-Mart. I know some people really have the hate relationship thing for Wal-Mart but today, I ♥ Wal-Mart. I was able to get my stupid money order (and found out they have the cheapest money order fees), replace my kids' toothbrushes left at Nana's house this weekend and buy Matthew a cheap pair of tennis shoes to get him through the next few days until the shoe left behind gets mailed home. Bless you Wal-Mart.

The police came and took a report for the stolen GPS; maybe they will help it find it's way home. HA, GPS humor. I hope Bitchin' Betty is annoying somebody else this evening. I can only hope she is stuck saying "recalculating....do a U turn."

I was able to get the kids to eat every bit of dinner on their plates this evening. Want to know the secret? Hold strawberries dipped in chocolate over their heads until they eat their chicken. All of a sudden the chants of "chicken again? But we have chicken every night" turns into "wow, this chicken is great!"