Thursday, December 31, 2009
First we made placemats for the table. We spread out the paper and art supplies and designed our own placemats to use during the Christmas season. We liked them so much I think we'll keep the project for each holiday.
Then we made several batches of sugar cookies. We sent some off for dear friends and kept others around to fill our bellies. The buttons on my jeans say we kept around a few too many.
Then, the weekend before Christmas we made a gingerbread house, well, I should say we followed directions from a well designed, $9 gingerbread kit. It was blissful. All the gingerbread was baked for me, frosting was mixed and candy was separated into neat little baggies. What a bargain for an mom who loves organization!
Hopefully there will be more pictures to come of Christmas but honestly, I promise nothing. I'm hoping to fill my next few days and weeks with packing lots of clothes and goodies while purchasing airplane tickets and making hotel reservations in China. Yes, 2010 is going to start off BIG; like 44 lbs of sweet little girl with beautiful black hair and gorgeous brown eyes, BIG. You can follow along here.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
So anyway, I opened the boldest paint lid yet- really teal and painted three broad stripes in our main-floor half bath. I already had the metal artwork and had been contemplating the stripes for a few months and finally made the jump. I'm not sure where I'll move to next but I do know that it will be small projects because the thought of painting 4 regular walls still hasn't won back any appeal.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Ever run to the mailbox in your pajama shirt sans bra and hope nobody was peeking out their windows, or let the kids do all the "fluffing" of the artificial tree this year because you despise it, or maybe even wish there wasn't an early out two Fridays in a row? Well stop feeling guilty and join in on "Not Me" Monday where we can be brutally honest about our imperfections. Ready? Here we go.
While taking all three children to the lab for a blood draw I would never bribe them with ice cream and then make it a double scoop when they started pitching a fit.
It was not me thinking we could set the clocks forward to speed up bedtime after a day of patience-testing children who tested every nerve in my body. It was also not me who let the shower run longer than normal just because it took one boy out of the mix and I relished in the 15 minutes of peace.
It was definitely not me combing the dog with a pair of scissors in hand to cut out the mats in his fur so I would not be scolded by the dog groomer the next day. Since I comb my long haired, fluffy pooch he would never end up with mats in his fur.
It was not me rolling out of bed Saturday morning saying, "hey, let's go to the Pancake House" and then proceed to tell all the sleepy heads to get ready. OK, who am I kidding, they were already up. I stopped monitoring the first hour of their Saturday morning a few years ago.
Anyway, I certainly did not pick out a red shirt which may have actually been sold as part of a pajama set, put it on and wear it all day. It was so comfortable I would never come home from church on Sunday and put it back on for the rest of the day. No way, never!
After church we stopped into a game store to pick out a Christmas present and while there I did not hand the cashier a new Wii game that everyone has requested and ask him to hide it while checking me out. I did not watch my children and giggle as the kind young man ducked down behind the counter to put the CD into the case and then secretly hand it back to me to slip into my purse. I certainly could not have come back during the week to purchase the game because I am just too
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Retail stores that contain a women's intimate department should really install air conditioners inside each room, kinda sorta like those hotel room air conditioners that you automatically crank to high cold as soon as you enter the room. Want to know why? Well, of course you do!
Eventually the stock of bras you purchased nearly three years ago will disintegrate into a pile of nothing and while walking by a mirror one day you will catch a side profile and realize your once well-supported ta-tas are now looking down to see how much your waist line has grown. Instead of them saying "oh say can you see" it is more like "oh say, what'd you eat?" So, you wait a few months and decide you really must purchase new bras before an upcoming international trip. I'm sure they don't sell bras made for mama ta-tas someplace like, oh, let's say China, making that the last place on Earth I'd want my last functioning bra springing a snap.
Of course, since its been nearly three years since you last bought decent bras that fit well, they no longer make those lovely bras. To find something that fits as well, looks decent and you find comfortable you start grab a few different styles in a few different brands and head into the fitting room. Here is how it goes:
Place your purse, coat and other potential purchases on the hooks and bench; prepare to stay awhile so get comfortable.
Start with bra #1
1. snap in the front, twist around to the back
2. the shoulder straps are ratcheted down as tight as they'll go, you figure this out by scraping the straps up the sides of your arms.
3. do the bra shift wiggle and get it into position
4. reach in and correctly position the mama ta-tas in the bra and then look in the mirror
5. do they spill out the top?
Yes? Stop here, don't torture yourself any more. Take it off and proceed to bra #2.
No? Proceed to next step.
6. check under the arms, any flabby chicken fat squeezing out under the arms? Follow Yes, No above.
7. Doing well, now turn around and check the back. Back fat squeezing out? Check both places, in the middle of the back and also on the side. Follow yes, no answers above.
8. OK, so all looks well while half-naked. Put your shirt back on.
Oh holy hell, it looks terrible, kind of like a flat tire but only partially flat-all wide and bulgy. Take it off and go for #2.
Repeat steps 1-8. After twenty minutes you've probably ditched 5 out of the 11 bras you started with. Your arms are starting to get red from the pulling up the scratchy straps, your stomach is starting to get bra burn from the twisting and you're beginning to get a bit warm. You have your first urge to use the restroom because you came shopping immediately after lunch. Sorry, no way you can take a potty break now.
So hopefully you've found another bra that makes it through steps 1-8 and you can put your shirt back on for the second time. Alright, not bad. No flat tire effect, boobs do not stick out beyond your arms when you put your arms down to your side, back fat really isn't too noticeable, now bend over forward and check the spillage, holy loss of support. Glad you figured that out in the fitting room rather than bowing to the queen.
After 11 bras you end up with three that might work but there might be a bigger/smaller band sizes and a bigger/smaller cup size that might work just a bit better in those styles. Get dressed, hang up all the bras and head out of the fitting room. Consider taking that potty break but then decide that this next trip is simply a formality so it will definitely be quick. Grab the new sizes, keep the originals and of course, find about 5 more styles that look good and head back in. Whoa, what?! You were supposed to only come back with different sizes of the three final contestants, not start over with 10 more bras. Now get all the bras mixed up and forget what the original three were so try them all on again.
Where's that damn air conditioner? About now you're wishing you would have reached for the clinical strength antiperspirant instead of the daily version. Ladies, bra shopping is a special occasion. I mean, it only comes around about once every three years, after all.
In between bras on this last trip you realize you really should have taken that potty break so now you've entered full-on potty dance. Oh my, decide quick; you can always return it, right?
And guess what? Swimsuit season begins in about 4 months and you get to do it all over again. Shoot me now.