It was not me you may have seen feeding her kids fast food for dinner because I was still covered in hives after 9 days and coming down with an infection. Nope, even if I were covered in hives and getting an infection, I would make sure my children eat a well balanced meal every evening.
It was certainly not me you saw in the grocery store the next day buying two Totino's pizzas and a box of Kraft macaroni & cheese. Frozen pizza and boxed macaroni and cheese is only one step better than fast food and still far below what I find acceptable for an evening meal so there is no way I came home, talked the kids into helping cook dinner and then allow them to eat on a blanket in the living room so I could lay on the couch. Nope; I would never do such a thing.
It was not me who skipped curriculum night for both Emily and Matthew due to hubby being gone for the week and my body still covered in hives after 11 days. Even with all that going on I would most certainly secure childcare for my children so I could take my itchy self to school for an hour right at dinner time.
There has not been an overflowing laundry basket of towels sitting in my living room for nearly a week. Nope, I am very efficient and organized with our laundry and would definitely put those towels away in each bathroom while they were still warm. I certainly did not put the towels away the morning hubby came home and smooth out the indentation in the carpet just so he didn't think they sat there the entire time he was gone.I did not eat half a watermelon the night before my weekly weigh-in to try and naturally flush the excess water from my body. Since we only eat healthy, balanced meals with limited amounts of salt, I would have no reason to be retaining fluid.
It was not me chatting it up with a curly haired, adorable 4 year old at Six Flags who proceeded to tell me the reason I couldn't ride the little kids rides wasn't because I was no longer a little kid but because I was (insert big tummy hand motion here) "too big." But she can't say that word or she'll get in trouble.
I did not make a trip to Sam's Club over the weekend and proceed to come home and feed the kids a dinner straight from my Sam's Club cart which may or may not have consisted of 7-layer taco dip, tortilla chips, yogurt and watermelon. I certainly did not make myself feel better by pointing out that they were actually receiving a food from every food group.
It was not me who decided to can 5 quarts of dill pickles only to realize my quart jars would not fit in my biggest stock pot. I am not the least bit happy that I got a new stainless steel stock pot out of the deal.
It was not me who had a mini freak out when the YMCA called to say another child in camp this week has been diagnosed with H1N1- or the piggy flu as we call it. (This wouldn't bother me except I've been taking mega doses of prednisone and can't be around anyone that is sick.)
I did not attempt to make up for my mommyhood failures this week by making To Die For Blueberry Muffins, cut and can 5 quarts of dill pickles, make my own knock-off of Panera's new strawberry poppyseed salad AND a homemade apple tart in one day. That much work would require you to stay in the kitchen for 5 hours and that is definitely not me.
So, what didn't you do this week?