Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
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Ever feel guilty that you skip a nightly bath time simply because you can't take one.more.minute of fighting siblings, or have a "make your own PB&J" dinner night, or maybe even think "God Bless Teachers" as your loud children run off to the bus? Well stop feeling guilty and join in on "Not Me" Monday where we can be brutally honest about our imperfections. Here we go.

We did not take a road trip this weekend which may have consisted of 22 hours in the car in a 72 hour period. Something of that manner sounds like absolute torture to anyone of child-bearing age so we certainly wouldn't think that would be a better idea than sending our children to school.

We did not comment 40820 times about the fact that the state of Iowa is about 4 different shades of brown. We might have said the words tan, brown, yellowish brown and dark brown so many times that I now think the word brown sounds funny and well, just not right. We also may have said the words soybeans, corn, soybean field and corn field about the same number of times we said brown. Those words may or may not be followed closely by the phrase "Look! A combine- guys right over there....LOOK!" After the tenth time my children did not start saying "Yes, they all look the same!"

Emily did not make a comment that sounded something like "I think Iowa is a state you only drive through; because if there aren't any towns people can't actually live here." I did not laugh and completely agree with her.

I did not say "quit fighting" or "stop arguing" or "if you fight one.more.time" at least 384 times in 72 hours and I would certainly never think to myself, "if these kids don't stop their freaking arguing I'm going to pull over and give myself a time out." And as a good mother I would never stop at Wal-Mart (remember, I ♥ Wal-Mart) and buy a bag of Charm Blow-Pops with the thinking if they have a blow-pop shoved in their blow hole they can't argue and fight as much. Nope, I would never do that!

We did not find it absolutely amusing that we had a corn field directly outside our hotel window the first night and then parked among the corn the next day at our lunch stop, in the middle of town. We did not tell everyone about this amusing fact and watch their faces say "well, yes, that is how it is here in Iowa."
After looking at so much brown we did not squeal with delight when we found a wind farm with 158 wind turbines. We did not venture off the beaten path to try and get up close and personal with the gentle giants; that would only add more time to our amazingly long road trip. I did not listen to my husband say he wants one of these in our backyard for the next two days. I did not take my city kids and plop them on a farm for 24 hours and let them run around frolicking in soybean fields and climbing silos. That kind of activity would have lead to muddy shoes and one freaked out mother contemplating the many safety violations of children on silos.

I did not listen to my city kids telling me they wished we lived on a real farm when I tried bribing them back into the car after such a short visit. Little do they know they would be doing far more work if they really did live on a real farm.

Something we did do this weekend...
We did get to visit two grandparents in one weekend and our children got to spend some quality time with their great-grandmother whom they've never really met, due to our frequent country-hopping moves. So despite the very long road trip, this weekend was priceless for all of us.

Travel Tips

After completing a 12 hour road trip with three children alone, I have compiled a list of helpful tips.

• State patrol officers now like to drive gas guzzling white Chevy Tahoes or Suburbans. They may also be found having a pow-wow in the median to really try and scare people which then results in highway bumper cars. I bet they are sitting there watching all the whiplash as everyone hits the brakes. "Hey Mike, whiplash in the white sedan; those brakes definitely have the Midas touch." Before long they will issue a neck brace with your citation.
• When highway construction crews don't have enough work they like to drag the orange barrels out and make the highway a one-lane road for miles. I think they are secretly hiding in the woods to see if we remembered our single-file line skills from elementary school.
• Curvy mountain roads and a 9 year old with a book do not mix. The roads were enough to make me queasy and I was the one driving the ship. Poor Jacob was the in the aft of the van where a slight turn of the wheel is magnified like a rocking ship in a thunderstorm at sea. I knew what was happening when he said "Mom, my head hurts really bad" and that was followed shortly by "my stomach doesn't feel so well." Tip- Harry Potter will have to wait until we are on solid ground.
• Illinois makes their road with deep cracks in the right lane and after 45 minutes of driving on the rhythmic road you will really want to take a snooze. Fight this urge with all you've got.
• Swerving around a dead animal while traveling 70mph is quite the thrill ride. If you drive a SUV, I wouldn't recommend it.

I know some thought I was crazy to take a long road trip with the three kids alone but thankfully our career path has given me practice. Road trips started when the oldest was a wee boy and God gave all of our children iron bladders. I thank Him on every road trip when I need to stop only once in 8 hours.

I have entered this post in a blog carnival on About.com; you can receive more information here.