In control

Is there one clear person who is in control in your marriage or do you have a nice 50/50 split? I think I've figured out who is in control in our marriage and I have to say I'm not too sure that is a good thing to realize.

We drive a Toyota Sienna mini-van (with which we are completely happy with) and it's starting to age. We've had it for a little over 5 years and we've racked up around 87,000 miles in that time (oh the joy of living far away from family.) It is setting a new record of "longest car we've ever owned" with each new mile on the odometer. The darn thing just won't break and go to van heaven. But, Toyota released a new, redesigned Sienna so of course we are nosy curious to find out what is different than ours. So, one day after work J did just that; he stopped at the Toyota dealership to check out the new vans.

So the salesman calls last week, I didn't answer the phone and let the answering machine get it. When J got home from work I told him about the message and he basically told me that he was just being nosy curious and didn't give the guy any indications of buying.

Mr. Salesman called back today and I decided to pick up.

Mr. Salesman: Hi, is J.... there?

Me: No

Mr. Salesman: Oh, this is Mr. 'bug the crap out of you' Salesman just calling about the 2011 Sienna he came to look at.

Me: Yes, he stopped in after work one day just to check it out; we are not looking to purchase at this time.

Mr. Salesman: So he didn't like it?

Me: That isn't what I said. I told you we just wanted to see what was different from our van right now and we will not be purchasing.

More questions, more of me telling him we don't want to buy right now.

Mr. Salesman: Can you have him call me?

Me: (Mr. Salesman just said the wrong thing; this is where I figure out that I might have a control issue) No, I will not tell him.

Mr. Salesman: What?

Me: The last time you called I told him and his words to me were "I was just checking it out" so no, I won't tell him to call you; we will not be purchasing a new van.

He promptly hung up and I'm sure called J's work number as fast as he could.

A bit of advice for other Mr. Salesmen; don't assume the man makes all the financial decisions in the family. You may just encounter a head-strong woman who will plant her feet securely in the sand just because you asked "will you have him call me."

Maybe I need some control therapy.

Random thoughts

Jet lag sucks. Just as I thought I slept all night and made it through the day without getting tired I was wide awake at 1am last night. At 3 am I rolled over and my husband was wide awake as well. He said "man, they were right; this sucks!"

He went to work at 3:30 am since he was awake with hopes that he could catch up.


I've worn the same clothes 4 days in row but I did wash them. I think they might wear out soon.
No, I didn't wear the same underwear all 4 days and yes, I did shower. I think.

My van is covered in so much salt that it is starting to look (and feel) like I've started a crystal growing experiment. Maybe I should wash it soon or maybe I can secretly hope the rust will magically appear and make all the body panels fall off then I can really have a good reason to get a newer van.

I have always known having two boys four years apart that there would be a period of time where they both will eat everything that doesn't move and our grocery bill will rival the national debt but now I think Claire might have them beat. I feed this girl every couple of hours- like a lot of food and then she's hungry again in a very short time. Where is she putting it? We've gone through a big bunch of bananas in only 2 days.

The souvenirs from China are still spread all over the dining room table. I have grand plans of separating them into bags of who they go to but just haven't gotten there yet.
Our suitcases are still spread all over our room. I did get Claire's put away soon after we got home but ours? Not so much.

Claire is still sleeping on the elevated twin air mattress next to the bottom bunk which Emily sleeps in. I think we might try and move her into the other bunk tomorrow night. She slept in our room the first two nights and then wanted to be in their room. She goes to bed extremely well.

My stomach is having a hard time adjusting back to American food. I assumed the opposite would happen and thought for sure I'd be really messed up while in China but it's been reversed. Maybe this is a kick in the pants to eat healthier all the time instead of being lazy and only eating healthy when I feel like it.
With that sentence I just got an email from Weight Watchers; I think they have my computer bugged.

Wordless Wednesday

er, Wacky Wednesday.

Emily and Matthew had wacky Wednesday today for spirit week and I was able to snap a picture of Jacob with Claire's tiara on just before he took it off.

I didn't realize the picture of Emily and Matthew was blurry at the time but it's the only one I took and their outfits simply can't be missed so I used it anyway.

Leaving on a jet plane

In 6 hours we will be boarding a plane bound for China to meet and bring home our newest daughter. We are over the moon with excitement but also a bit misty eyed to be leaving our other children for nearly 3 weeks.

Follow our journey to Claire at our adoption blog:
www.lovejourneytochina.blogspot.com

An oldie but goodie

 

stream of consciousness

Today sucked.
I never got the chance to shower before remembering I had to leave the house early to drop Emily off at school. My list of things to do before leaving for China keeps growing and I'm not able to finish the add-ons each day so I'm never catching up.

It was confirmed that Claire is still in foster care. The foster family will be bringing her to the orphanage next week. We are supposed to get a new picture of her at that time. There hasn't been another child from this orphanage who stayed in foster care this long. My mind drifted to another family whose child was not relinquished by her foster family so they could not adopt her. I had never even thought of the possibility of that happening. My brain thought of the money we just paid in the last week to finalize travel plans. My heart thought of the unspeakable pain that would cause us. Would God really bring us this far and then take us down that path?

I didn't get lunch before 2:30. In the middle of errands I get a call saying my plane reservations were issued in the wrong name and must be cancelled and repurchased but I had already upgraded our seats so we were going to lose our seats. The travel agent wouldn't take my call causing me to get increasingly irritated with the secretary. I finally talked to the travel agent but didn't get a resolution.

I inhaled both of my cookies at Subway from the stress. Usually I save one for J or a snack for myself later. My youngest son had his braces put on today during all the ticket breakdown. I think he looks adorable.

The melting snow trashed my van that I just had washed yesterday. I got home and found my boots arrived. We were strongly encouraged by other travelers to bring boots for Beijing. Every store and website was sold-out of them. I guess January is well past prime boot season. I had calmed down from earlier and was looking forward to trying on my boots. They didn't fit. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I finally cried. It freaked Jacob out. He rubbed my back and asked if I was OK. I was so touched to see his pre-teen heart showing some softness.

I didn't touch the kitchen for dinner. Thank you, Panera. After all was finally right in my world tonight I got another call from the travel agent. My flight in China has to be changed as well and they want me to pay the penalty. I surprised her with my abruptness and flat out refused. I don't know if the ticket was reissued or not. And with that I'm going to take a shower and call it a night.

Snow pop copycat

So, I read this cutesy little dessert recipe called snow pops over on MckMama's blog. Aren't those adorable? Emily was reading over my shoulder (which she gets in trouble for, often!) and then asked bugged me incessantly to make them for several days. So finally we did and I took pictures to share with all of you.

First step- make a cake mix according to the directions. She used chocolate, we had vanilla in the pantry.
Make some frosting. I didn't have her ingredients so I threw a few together in a bowl and completely impressed my 9 year old daughter with my off-the-top-of-my-head frosting. I might add that is was mighty tasty! What did I put in it? If I can remember right, it was somewhere around 3/4 stick of butter, 1/2 tub of soft cream cheese (no bagels to put it on anyway), a dash of vanilla and enough powdered sugar to make it thick. Stir with a whisk until you think your arm might just fall off, and then stir a bit longer. Remember, it's a good burn.


When your cake is cooled, cut it up and somehow get it into crumbles. MckMama used a food processor. I used a freshly hand-washed 9 year old who had just told me for the 100th time "I'm so bored, I have nothing to do" in her bestest voice.

We mixed in some frosting to make it a good consistency for forming balls, then formed it into balls. Refrigerate until firm and then get ready to dip.

Again, I don't do many things by a recipe so I didn't have any white chocolate to make pretty colors for dipping. But, I do have a coat in each of her favorite colors, do I win a prize for that?


What I did have was a half-used up container of the Bakers dipping chocolate so we used that instead. Insert your lollipop stick, dip and rotate then refrigerate until firm.

The kids loved them, but when have you found a kid that doesn't like anything made of cake, frosting and then dipped in chocolate? For me? I thought it tasted quite similar to a coma-on-a-stick. Despite that I seemed to need a taste each time I opened the refrigerator.

Good neighbors

You know, I think having good neighbors can be, at times, life saving. At least if you are a 13 lb., fluffy, white, I-look-like-a-fat-bunny, dog it is life saving.

Our neighbors called Sunday morning to let us know there were three very large, dog-stalking birds hanging out in trees in our yards. They wanted to warn us not to let the dog out because they were certainly big enough to carry him off for a meal.

Bless our neighbors; I think they love our fluff ball almost as much as we do.

Not Me Monday

On this last day of Christmas break, I bring you a few things that I totally did not do in the past two weeks.

Being completely responsible adults, J and I would heed all weather warnings of impending blizzards and change our Christmas plans and drive home to family a day early. Of course we would. We would never do something like blow off TV meteorologists and their blizzard warning, keep our Christmas morning tradition and then drive several hours to visit family.


When taking down outdoor Christmas decorations I would gather all necessary storage boxes and dutifully wrap all the lights before placing them in the box. I would never choose the coldest day of the winter, to date, to be the day I pull all the lights off the bushes. I would never grab the lights, yank them off the bushes and then run inside and form little piles all over the house.


And lastly, I would never think it is the cutest thing to dress our family in cheesy, matching pajamas each Christmas and then post them on the blog for all to see the cuteness. Nope, never.

December projects

Although my blog indicates we've been quiet and had nothing to do; the reality is quite opposite. It is life with chaos, as usual. We've been trying to occupy our time so we don't get enough idle time to sit and stew about the fact that we're ending 2009 without our sweet Claire. No twiddling thumbs here; we put them to use.

First we made placemats for the table. We spread out the paper and art supplies and designed our own placemats to use during the Christmas season. We liked them so much I think we'll keep the project for each holiday.


Then we made several batches of sugar cookies. We sent some off for dear friends and kept others around to fill our bellies. The buttons on my jeans say we kept around a few too many.


Then, the weekend before Christmas we made a gingerbread house, well, I should say we followed directions from a well designed, $9 gingerbread kit. It was blissful. All the gingerbread was baked for me, frosting was mixed and candy was separated into neat little baggies. What a bargain for an mom who loves organization!


Hopefully there will be more pictures to come of Christmas but honestly, I promise nothing. I'm hoping to fill my next few days and weeks with packing lots of clothes and goodies while purchasing airplane tickets and making hotel reservations in China. Yes, 2010 is going to start off BIG; like 44 lbs of sweet little girl with beautiful black hair and gorgeous brown eyes, BIG. You can follow along here.

Going Bold

When we moved into our first house 18 months ago we painted every.single.wall over the course of about 3 months. We knew this was not a forever house for us and after painting one room we made the decision to go with a warm tan color that would be good for resale. We are not eager to paint the 58 walls again, not to mention all the wonderful closets; those were the worst. But now, after sitting in different shades of tan for 18 months I've grown a bit weary and decided it isn't all that fantastic tantastic, so lately I've decided to start finding ways to add color without turning the house into a lite brite toy; speaking of which, my kids have absolutely no idea what a lite brite is. Do the elves still make those?

So anyway, I opened the boldest paint lid yet- really teal and painted three broad stripes in our main-floor half bath. I already had the metal artwork and had been contemplating the stripes for a few months and finally made the jump. I'm not sure where I'll move to next but I do know that it will be small projects because the thought of painting 4 regular walls still hasn't won back any appeal.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
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Ever run to the mailbox in your pajama shirt sans bra and hope nobody was peeking out their windows, or let the kids do all the "fluffing" of the artificial tree this year because you despise it, or maybe even wish there wasn't an early out two Fridays in a row? Well stop feeling guilty and join in on "Not Me" Monday where we can be brutally honest about our imperfections. Ready? Here we go.

While taking all three children to the lab for a blood draw I would never bribe them with ice cream and then make it a double scoop when they started pitching a fit.

It was not me thinking we could set the clocks forward to speed up bedtime after a day of patience-testing children who tested every nerve in my body. It was also not me who let the shower run longer than normal just because it took one boy out of the mix and I relished in the 15 minutes of peace.

It was definitely not me combing the dog with a pair of scissors in hand to cut out the mats in his fur so I would not be scolded by the dog groomer the next day. Since I comb my long haired, fluffy pooch he would never end up with mats in his fur.

It was not me rolling out of bed Saturday morning saying, "hey, let's go to the Pancake House" and then proceed to tell all the sleepy heads to get ready. OK, who am I kidding, they were already up. I stopped monitoring the first hour of their Saturday morning a few years ago.
Anyway, I certainly did not pick out a red shirt which may have actually been sold as part of a pajama set, put it on and wear it all day. It was so comfortable I would never come home from church on Sunday and put it back on for the rest of the day. No way, never!

After church we stopped into a game store to pick out a Christmas present and while there I did not hand the cashier a new Wii game that everyone has requested and ask him to hide it while checking me out. I did not watch my children and giggle as the kind young man ducked down behind the counter to put the CD into the case and then secretly hand it back to me to slip into my purse. I certainly could not have come back during the week to purchase the game because I am just too lazy busy for that.

the fitting room

This really should be a "tips on Tuesday" post but the story really is much more than just a tip. But, let's start with a tip anyhow:

Retail stores that contain a women's intimate department should really install air conditioners inside each room, kinda sorta like those hotel room air conditioners that you automatically crank to high cold as soon as you enter the room. Want to know why? Well, of course you do!

Eventually the stock of bras you purchased nearly three years ago will disintegrate into a pile of nothing and while walking by a mirror one day you will catch a side profile and realize your once well-supported ta-tas are now looking down to see how much your waist line has grown. Instead of them saying "oh say can you see" it is more like "oh say, what'd you eat?" So, you wait a few months and decide you really must purchase new bras before an upcoming international trip. I'm sure they don't sell bras made for mama ta-tas someplace like, oh, let's say China, making that the last place on Earth I'd want my last functioning bra springing a snap.

Of course, since its been nearly three years since you last bought decent bras that fit well, they no longer make those lovely bras. To find something that fits as well, looks decent and you find comfortable you start grab a few different styles in a few different brands and head into the fitting room. Here is how it goes:

Place your purse, coat and other potential purchases on the hooks and bench; prepare to stay awhile so get comfortable.
Start with bra #1
1. snap in the front, twist around to the back
2. the shoulder straps are ratcheted down as tight as they'll go, you figure this out by scraping the straps up the sides of your arms.
3. do the bra shift wiggle and get it into position
4. reach in and correctly position the mama ta-tas in the bra and then look in the mirror
5. do they spill out the top?
Yes? Stop here, don't torture yourself any more. Take it off and proceed to bra #2.
No? Proceed to next step.
6. check under the arms, any flabby chicken fat squeezing out under the arms? Follow Yes, No above.
7. Doing well, now turn around and check the back. Back fat squeezing out? Check both places, in the middle of the back and also on the side. Follow yes, no answers above.
8. OK, so all looks well while half-naked. Put your shirt back on.
Oh holy hell, it looks terrible, kind of like a flat tire but only partially flat-all wide and bulgy. Take it off and go for #2.

Repeat steps 1-8. After twenty minutes you've probably ditched 5 out of the 11 bras you started with. Your arms are starting to get red from the pulling up the scratchy straps, your stomach is starting to get bra burn from the twisting and you're beginning to get a bit warm. You have your first urge to use the restroom because you came shopping immediately after lunch. Sorry, no way you can take a potty break now.

So hopefully you've found another bra that makes it through steps 1-8 and you can put your shirt back on for the second time. Alright, not bad. No flat tire effect, boobs do not stick out beyond your arms when you put your arms down to your side, back fat really isn't too noticeable, now bend over forward and check the spillage, holy loss of support. Glad you figured that out in the fitting room rather than bowing to the queen.

After 11 bras you end up with three that might work but there might be a bigger/smaller band sizes and a bigger/smaller cup size that might work just a bit better in those styles. Get dressed, hang up all the bras and head out of the fitting room. Consider taking that potty break but then decide that this next trip is simply a formality so it will definitely be quick. Grab the new sizes, keep the originals and of course, find about 5 more styles that look good and head back in. Whoa, what?! You were supposed to only come back with different sizes of the three final contestants, not start over with 10 more bras. Now get all the bras mixed up and forget what the original three were so try them all on again.

Where's that damn air conditioner? About now you're wishing you would have reached for the clinical strength antiperspirant instead of the daily version. Ladies, bra shopping is a special occasion. I mean, it only comes around about once every three years, after all.

In between bras on this last trip you realize you really should have taken that potty break so now you've entered full-on potty dance. Oh my, decide quick; you can always return it, right?

Grab three and go, just go.

And guess what? Swimsuit season begins in about 4 months and you get to do it all over again. Shoot me now.

A fitting update

There was a boy who loved to play,
He could play outside all the lived longed day.
His most favorite thing was to jump on the trampoline,
And when I expressed concern I was being too mean.

As luck would have it my youngest ran in the door with a hand on his eye,
He said he got hurt but was too busy playing to cry.
A little while later my boy who is so tough,
Was on the floor screaming in a huff and a puff.

So I loaded all three kids into the car,
and headed to our friendly, neighborhood E.R.
Of course these things happen when dad's out of town,
It can never be a convenient time when these events go down.

After more screaming and eye-staining it was revealed,
that my poor boy's eye was torn and it would be a few days until it healed.
He hid in dark rooms and wore a pirate patch all the next day,
He was so sad to tell his friends that he could not play.

My boy has quickly bounced back and although he looks rough,
He'll be back to playing and jumping with friends soon enough.

it's beginning

The house is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

A Boy's Life

Being a mom to a boy, and even more, two boys, I've just completely given up on some aspects of life.

My half-bath sink is now, and forever will be, simply a vessel that holds water and whatever object might float in it. We've had aluminum foil boat challenges, tinker toy boats and most recently, the battleship game pieces were put to their test in this little sink.

Anything will become an airplane, seriously, anything. This aluminum foil was actually covering a baking dish and while cleaning up the kitchen I found Matthew making it into an airplane. He snagged it quicker than I could get it into the trash. I have found numerous school papers made into airplanes and flown all around the house. On occasion I ask Matthew where the papers went that were in his folder and he points to an airplane lying on the floor somewhere. I've actually signed field trip permission slips that have the markings of paper airplane folds.

Stuffed animals become superheros and then share pop-tarts for breakfast.

While I'm not always good at it, I try to appreciate the creativeness of my boys with their toys and projects around the house because I realize there will be a day when I'm sad that I'm not jabbing Legos into my feet as I walk to tuck in my littlest boy or grumble when waking my oldest because there are toy cars lined up around his room that weren't there when I tucked him in the night before. It's all normal in a boy's life.

The Rug

Last week J and I had a day to ourselves while the kids were at school so we had lunch together and decided to check out a nearby ritzy home entertainment store who had painted all the windows with neon "going out of business" signs and of course everything was "up to 70% off!" What could be better than some ritzy home entertainment items at 70% off?!

This was, without question, the funniest day of my week last week. We walked around the store and saw pool tables, poker tables, shuffleboard tables, arcade games, home theatre seating and stacks and stacks of oriental rugs. I didn't find one thing 70% off, or even 50% off for that matter.
While walking around I overheard a salesman pitching a $7,000 shuffleboard table as an "investment." I think I may have accidently mumbled something like, Sure, that investment will send my kids to college.

But then, I saw the funniest thing ever to a middle-class, stay-at-home-mom, seriously, ever.
It was a hand tied rug that cost only $37,990.

I had to look twice- Seriously? I called J over and asked him "does that seriously say $38,000 for a RUG?" Why yes, yes it does; we both cracked up laughing.

First, who thinks it's a great idea to lay $38,000 on the floor to walk on?
Second, the person who does think it's a good idea certainly does not have children or pets. And they certainly don't have babies who get their diapers changed on the floor because they are the third child and Mom ditched the changing table after child #1, or children who get the stomach flu and haven't gotten the "hold mouth and run to the bathroom" coordination down, and definitely don't have dogs who eat a bit too much of the bright green grass during their potty break despite being yelled at each and every time.

For that much money we should be able to put all three children on the rug and give them one heck of a magic carpet ride.

All things pumpkin

In the span of a week we have made (and eaten) three pumpkin-containing, baked goods. The first was an easy pumpkin muffin kit that was dessert after dinner and breakfast the next morning. The second was a pumpkin pie. Why pumpkin pie already? Well, because Matthew came home from school with a paper saying it was his favorite fall dessert. What does a mother do when you learn your child's favorite fall dessert? Make it, of course.

I also had the realization that our oldest child, Jacob, is a mere 7 years from the flying the coop age and that means I have a very small window between the age of him wanting to be in the kitchen with me and learning to cook and then reaching the all-knowing, he-never-hears-a-word-I-say age, so I must get busy on teaching this child to cook. Where do we start on learning to cook? Dessert, of course. So Jacob and I made a pumpkin pie in the middle of last week, just because. I bet money on him making pumpkin pie early in his courtship in a few ahem, 20 years.

After hearing the jealousy rage in the house over Jacob making the pumpkin pie and listening to comments such as "why did you let him do it? why didn't you wait for me (or us)? that is so unfair!" it was quickly decided that another baked good containing pumpkin must be baked. Thankfully, I remembered a recipe that I made several times last year around this time that was delicious. Here is the recipe we made up thoroughly followed, more variations are listed below.

Pumpkin Spice Cake

1 box spice cake mix
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup milk
1 egg (actually, I was lazy and dumped in a bit of Egg Beaters)
1 15oz. can pumpkin

Mix this all together, either by a mixer or with a whisk (if you're trying to find toned arms under the flab, like me.) You can bake it in any kind of pan you'd like; we chose a bundt pan. Bake at 375 until you think it's done a tester inserted comes out clean. We put ours on a pretty cake stand to make it seem like it was a lot more work than it truly was and drizzled with some leftover vanilla tub frosting from the fridge homemade icing.

Variations:
-Add only 1 can of pumpkin to the cake mix; the batter is thick but it still turns out wonderfully. (This is actually the Weight Watchers recipe. We made it this way last year because I was on more of a diet kick...well, diet with a cake mix.)
-Add 1 cup of water instead of 1/2 water, 1/2 milk.
-Leave out the egg (or Egg Beaters) all together.
-Add applesauce instead of the eggs; maybe 1/4 cup or so.

Making it the way we did or making it with any of these variations will turn out about the same. Omitting the liquid will make it more muffin texture (which is our next "cooking lesson") and making it with more liquid and egg will make it more cake-like texture.

In the middle

Beautiful girl
Sandwiched between 2 brothers
Animal lover
Huge, caring heart
Crafty
Hard worker
Competitive
Loving
Shopping buddy
Crafting buddy
Soon to be big sister to one more

Oh Happy Day!

After 88 days of waiting, we received our Letter of Approval today from China to formally approve us to adopt Claire!

I have written a post here on what the next steps are in our process.