stream of consciousness

Today sucked.
I never got the chance to shower before remembering I had to leave the house early to drop Emily off at school. My list of things to do before leaving for China keeps growing and I'm not able to finish the add-ons each day so I'm never catching up.

It was confirmed that Claire is still in foster care. The foster family will be bringing her to the orphanage next week. We are supposed to get a new picture of her at that time. There hasn't been another child from this orphanage who stayed in foster care this long. My mind drifted to another family whose child was not relinquished by her foster family so they could not adopt her. I had never even thought of the possibility of that happening. My brain thought of the money we just paid in the last week to finalize travel plans. My heart thought of the unspeakable pain that would cause us. Would God really bring us this far and then take us down that path?

I didn't get lunch before 2:30. In the middle of errands I get a call saying my plane reservations were issued in the wrong name and must be cancelled and repurchased but I had already upgraded our seats so we were going to lose our seats. The travel agent wouldn't take my call causing me to get increasingly irritated with the secretary. I finally talked to the travel agent but didn't get a resolution.

I inhaled both of my cookies at Subway from the stress. Usually I save one for J or a snack for myself later. My youngest son had his braces put on today during all the ticket breakdown. I think he looks adorable.

The melting snow trashed my van that I just had washed yesterday. I got home and found my boots arrived. We were strongly encouraged by other travelers to bring boots for Beijing. Every store and website was sold-out of them. I guess January is well past prime boot season. I had calmed down from earlier and was looking forward to trying on my boots. They didn't fit. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I finally cried. It freaked Jacob out. He rubbed my back and asked if I was OK. I was so touched to see his pre-teen heart showing some softness.

I didn't touch the kitchen for dinner. Thank you, Panera. After all was finally right in my world tonight I got another call from the travel agent. My flight in China has to be changed as well and they want me to pay the penalty. I surprised her with my abruptness and flat out refused. I don't know if the ticket was reissued or not. And with that I'm going to take a shower and call it a night.