No Place Like Home

Click your heels three times and repeat after me...
There's no place like home.

There's no place like home.

There's no place like home.

Screw. That.

Home is currently bone-chilling cold and even though the summers in the south nearly melt the skin off your body and you need a gas mask if you enter a location where people might be sweating (OK, everywhere!), I am ready to trade that for these 'you have to be out of your mind to live here and enjoy it' frigid days. I know many people might be saying out loud to their screens right now "I live in climates much colder than where you are." If you enjoy it I think the cold sensor in your brain must have gotten stuck in September and you stopped registering the actual temperature outside. In absolutely no way do I find temperatures under 10°F the least bit enjoyable or even tolerable. When I take the dog outside I like for the fluid in my eyes to remain liquid, not frozen. It is a very odd sensation to close your eyelid and feel the surface of eye now cold; very odd indeed.

Even my van is revolting at the sub-zero temperatures. Last night it creaked, moaned and whined when I forced it to take me someplace warm. So maybe the tires nearly melted to the driveway last year when it was 115 in GA but it never voiced it's "van opinion" like it did yesterday. I think I agree with the van; this just sucks.

I think we need to permanently move to somewhere in the south and then drag all of our relatives with us. We'll make sure to bring them down in the winter so they are settled before the 100+ degree August hits.